Prisoner of the self
by soulrefrain
Summary: Words can make or break someone you care for. (one shot fic) ^_^


H.Anno owns Gainax and Evangelion

We just own this work.

In the mind of Ikari Shinji. A collection of thoughts. The complementation.

Word could make or break a person. Never ever forget that.

Prison of the Self: If I were the judge

By Lksantiago

-|- -|- -|-

He looked at me… and dismissed me life I'm nothing to him. I doubt he even cares about me anymore.

"You disappoint me…"

Disappointment… He's disappointed… I've always did what I was expected to do and more, yet… he's still disappointed. God damn you father… you never cared… I've always cared… more than you'll ever know. Why did you leave me? You left me all alone. I had to take care of myself. I was abused… I was hurt, I was tortured… I bet your laughing at me.

I'm going to show you someday… I'll laugh at you… I'll laugh at you and spit in your face. I'll show you… I can do it.

-|- -|- -|-

Miss Misato… you've always been there for me. I know it's part of your job but… thanks anyway. You're the mother that I never had. I wonder what you think of me?

"Good work Shinji…"

I smile as I recall those words… she cares for me… she accepted me into her home. I'm like family…

Miss Misato… thank you.

-|- -|- -|-

"I hate you… pervert… stooge… I hate you, I hate you. I hate you to death."

Asuka… your words sting me more than you'll ever know. I always tried to understand you but you kept pushing me away.

I guess theirs nothing more I can do for you except stay out of your way. 

Farewell Asuka… I've always cared for you.

-|- -|- -|-

Rei Ayanami… you've always been close to my father. His favorite.

"You are the commander's son aren't you? Don't you trust your father's work?"

"How could I ever trust him again… after what he did to me."

You slapped me… not like you were the first one, but I guess it made me feel conscious. Your so familiar…

Sometimes I feel happy when I see you. Sometimes being near you make me feel safe and warm… sometimes you just scare me. Deep inside… I guess I'm afraid of you.

-|- -|- -|-

Mother… you've always protected me. Even though at the brink of death, you've always been their. I knew you were in the Eva, it was you wasn't it… I feel warm inside the Eva… such a familiar feeling.

Good bye mother. I won't forget you.

-|- -|- -|-

"You've got the power to set things right… it's all up to you."

Mr. Kaji… your like the father I've never had. Your words inspired me to do the right thing. You were right… you always were, Misato misses you most of the time. Oh yeah… I've been taking care of your watermelons. I won't forget you…

Thank you

-|- -|- -|-

Hikari, Kensuke and Toji thank you for your friendship. Hikari, thanks for being their for Asuka… I wasn't good enough for her.

Kensuke, thanks… it was nice spending those times with you, you know… when we were in the forest… it was your special place wasn't it… I salute you.

I miss you.

Toji, You judged me before you knew… I couldn't blame you. They made me pilot the thing… Yes you did beat me up. You weren't the first one though… when my dad left me, I was… I can't say it… it hurts just trying to remember.

Anyway, you've been a good friend. I'm sorry… please forgive me for what I did… I hurt you. I hurt you… I hurt you so much. No matter what they say… I would have wished for death, but it never came. Revelations, it's in the bible.

I miss you all.

-|- -|- -|-

Miss Ibuki, Mr. Aoba and Professor Fuyutsuki, I never really got to know any of you… but I guess you were their, you were Nerv's… so their not much I can say about you except… nothing… I don't have anything to say.

Professor… you've known my mom and my dad. Your just like them… you've betrayed my mother… you sicken me.

-|- -|- -|-

Dr. Akagi, mother and daughter.

Dr. Naoko Akagi… you've always been after my father… I bet you sabotaged the Eva, killing my mother. You've always wanted what you can't have.

Dr. Ritsuko Akagi… you've always felt betrayed by your mother… yet you've turned just like her. You've always blamed Rei… you've always blamed my sister… why didn't you blame me? You even took care of me up to a point… no… I'll never forget it.

-|- -|- -|-

Shinji looked at the letter he wrote… on the computer and pondered, making corrections here and there. 

"Hey Shinji, dear…"

"I'll be right their love… just making finishing touches."

Asuka went inside Shinji's room and covers his eyes.

"Earth to Shinji… little Asuka wants to play now."

Shinji laughs… "Ok dear…" they quickly kiss on the lips…

"Asuka…"

"Yes Shinji?" she whispers on his ear.

She giggles as she sits on his lap. Putting off the computer.

"This is real isn't it? You're here right?" 

She tilts her head… then she nods.

"Lets go baka… or do I have to beat you up."

Shinji kisses Asuka in the lips… "I know you won't, you love me too much."

She laughed and pulls him towards the living room. "Well let me show you how much I love you."

Shinji blushed.

"I love you Shinji… you do know that don't you?"

"I do Asuka… I do… More than you'll ever know."

The end.


End file.
